There are basically two kinds of self-defense: grappling (Jiu-Jitsu, Judo, Wrestling, Aikido, Ninjitsu, etc.) or striking (Karate, Kung-Fu, Krav Maga, Kickboxing, Boxing, etc).
Striking arts
Striking arts aim to hit a bully with the hand, foot, knee, head, or any number of weapons. These arts can be effective but are violent.
Grappling arts
Nonviolent Self-Protection (NSP) on the other hand, uses grappling: martial arts systems of gripping and seizing techniques with basically four steps…
- Take the fight to the ground so the opponent can’t use effective explosive force.
- Get passed the opponent’s legs so they can’t kick, or strangle you.
- Work your way to a pin that can keep the opponent on the ground.
- Make the opponent submit by using a joint-lock or stranglehold.
For kid’s bully self-defense, grappling is a more peaceful approach than striking because it can end the bully’s cycle of violence.
Ending violence
If your child uses grappling to control the bully nonviolently, three things happen:
- The bully will have emotional room to realize the error of their ways.
- Your kid will be less likely to get into legal trouble.
- Your kid will bemore likely to have peace of mind.
But, if your child uses striking to give a bully a black eye or broken knee, they may never bother your kid again, but they’ll transfer their anger to another victim, or, they may plan revenge against your child. In any case, the cycle of hate will continue.
So, NSP modifies the four steps of grappling into…
- Take the fight to the ground so the bully can’t use effective explosive force.
- Get passed the bully’s legs so they can’t kick, or strangle you.
- Work your way to a pin that can keep the bully on the ground.
- Hold the pin and force the bully to exhaust themself. Then tell a teacher/parent/etc. that the bully is trying to hurt them, but that they don't want to hurt the bully.
The modification NSP makes is in step 4: rather than making the bully submit by using a joint-lock or stranglehold, NSP exhausts the bully and breaks their will to fight by taking their ability to move effectively.
If however, the bully ignores the compassion they’re being given and leaves an NSP practitioner no other choice, a submission can always be applied.
But even in that case, the bully will know in their heart that they were given every opportunity to stop their attacks. They might come to realize they were wrong… leading to a positive change of heart.
There's another element of grappling that’s more in harmony with compassionately minded people…
The humane nature of submissions
In the striking arts, the goal is to knock the opponent out (KO) with a hit. The equivalent of the KO in grappling is to make the opponent submit (or, give up) with a submission hold.
A submission hold is a joint lock or stranglehold that applies more pressure to a critical area than the body can withstand. The opponent finds themself in a dilemma: submit, or be broken/rendered unconscious.
Submissions are more humane than the KO because once a submission is properly applied, the fight is obviously over. The bully must either say, “I quit.”, or be rendered unable to continue the fight. In either case, they’ve lost.
On the other hand, a KO typically causes the bully to be concussed. Meaning the force of the strike causes the bully's brain to bounce around or twist in the skull, creating chemical changes in the brain and sometimes stretching and damaging brain cells.
What's worse, the bully will fall uncontrollably and hit their head again on the ground or an object, causing further damage.
With hitting, the striker cannot certainly control the amount of damage they do to the bully.
But the grappler is in more control of the amount of damage they inflict. A grappler can apply a submission and hold the bully in place without activating it. They can use the submission as leverage to make the bully promise to stop their harassment. If there are witnesses, they'll all hear the bully say, "I quit."
So, the bully has lost the fight but can stand up and walk home relatively unscathed.
The bottom line
Here’s the bottom line: if you're a compassionately minded parent, NSP is for your kid.
Come try a class!
